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I’m just going to get straight to the point– Comparison. Yup, we all feel it. Even that person who you think has their life completely together and they are #goals…yup they suffer with the comparison game too. It eats us up inside and if we don’t attack the source of this comparison, over time it will just completely diminish our confidence, self love, relationships, and so much more. The Comparison Game hurts our love for ourself, has a tendency to end relationships, and gives life to those Green Monsters on our shoulders.
Do you ever find yourself struggling with feeling grateful? I know I do! Tell me, does this situation sound familiar? You write down a goal. If ONLY you could achieve THAT goal, your life would be so much better. So, you work your booty off trying to obtain this goal (and subsequently this amazing feeling when you get that goal). After weeks of working hard, guess what? You finally reach it! Wow! What a feeling. But, after an hour, day, or even week of rejoicing in your success, all of a sudden the line of achievement moves up. You are no longer satisfied with what God has given you or the circumstance you were so excited to finally be in. Now, you see that the line of success has moved up even higher. Now, if only you could hit THAT goal, then you would truly be happy. Do we see the cycle starting to form? With this mindset, you will never be happy. You will never be satisfied. There will always be something you are searching for. Something you may not even know how to describe. Just that feeling of inadequacy, longing, and lack of self-worth.
So… first things first.
There is no limit to success in life. That’s right. Are you confused? There MUST be a limit, right?! Nope! If *Brandi* is successful in the field you want to succeed in, that doesn’t discredit you. You can be just as successful. There is no limit. Instead of having the mindset of competition, we need to switch our mindset to love, encouragement, and collaboration. When you build others up, you also build YOURSELF up. Don’t stoop down to a low level and hurt those around you just to feel like you are getting a leg up on the competition. It will always bite you in the booty and ends up eating away at your soul. Instead, love and support those around you.
The Deeper Issue: When you compare yourself to others (social media, in real life, and anything in between), there is an even deeper issue we need to discover and conquer. Fighting to be satisfied with your life is so important. I know it is hard; I grew up with the mindset to NEVER be complacent. I still agree that complacency is BAD, but at the same time, there is a fine balance between never being complacent and creating idols out of worldly things. Work hard, be kind to others, and be yourself while creating goals, but don’t let those goals eat you up and blind you. If you are struggling with the Comparison Game, take an introspective look into the reason behind the Comparison Game. What is it exactly that you feel like you are lacking and WHY do you feel that way? Is it actually true or are you just making idols out of worldly things?
Conquering the Comparison Game
Blinders: Exactly as it sounds, we need to create blinders once we know what is causing us to be a pawn in the Comparison Game. If you know that hanging out with a person will make you feel worthless, ugly, and not important, why are you spending so much time with them? Are they an encouraging friend or a toxic friend?
– Social Media: If you find yourself scrolling and scrolling and making idols and feeling less than someone based off of their follower number, likes, or appearance, take. a. break. I know, I know. If you take a break from Social Media, the world just might end. You won’t gain any followers and your likes will go down! I’m going to let you in on a little secret; that is just not true. That is your own fear telling you that if you take a break from something that is hurting your soul, that you will then matter EVEN LESS and have no impact. Taking care of yourself is actually the BEST way to make a lasting impact. The happier you are with yourself and your life, the better off everything in your life will be.
What to do: The Game Plan
– Social Media Cleanse: Just once a week, take ONE day off every week. I know this is hard. If you are like me, you wake up and immediately check instagram. But, for just one day, take time to spend time with loved ones, have some me-time, and re-charge.
– Count your Blessings: As cliche as that sounds, it helps so much. I like to start off my day by making a list (mental or physical) of things I am grateful for. I’ll even go look in the mirror and say 3 things that I like about myself. Sound vain? NO. We need to learn to love ourselves and not feel vain for loving the way God made us. THAT. IS. HEALTHY.
– Start the Day with The Bible: Too busy to read your Bible? I get that! I feel that way all the time. I’ll have weeks were I read my Bible daily, then go 2 weeks of being very spotty when I get to get into The Word. But, once you make it a habit, it is the best way to start your day. Instead of starting your day off by scrolling through social media, start your day by giving thanks to our Father and learning more about HIM!
– Remember, character trumps numbers: Your character and who you are as a person will ALWAYS outshine the number of followers you have or the amount of people who know who you are. Life is not a popularity game…that phase ended in high school. People can tell if you are a genuine person or just trying to get followers and likes on social media. Imagine if you worked on your character as a person the same amount that you worked on growing your social media following or likes. MAN wouldn’t that be amazing?!
– There is only ONE you: Cheesy, I know. But why try to fit into a mold, stereotype, or be #basic just to get followers. There is only one you out there, so you better OWN THAT and let that shine. In a world were we are constantly try to act like someone else, we need to get back to our roots and just be ourselves. Having inspiration is one thing (we all know I love Julianne Hough), but trying to be JUST LIKE that person is tainting our souls and not how God has called us to be.
Hope you girls loved this post. Conquering the Comparison Game is something I think I might always struggle with, but with these steps, we can conquer it together!
